I'm not sure what I am right now. For 16 years of my life, I have identified as a student. I am the one in the class, learning. I am just a guest in someone else's room. The teacher is the one I'm learning from and whose class I'm in.
So where am I now? I am a student teacher. I am both of these things. Right now, though, I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around the latter. I was talking with my roommate about my day at school, and I told her I recieved students' IEPs, "even though I don't think I'm supposed to see them." She responded, "No, of course you're supposed to see them; why wouldn't you?" And I realized that I felt as though I didn't have a right to them because I feel more like my cooperating teacher's student than her colleague right now.
I have been observing, and she's been giving me wonderful tips and comments, narrating her day for me so that I might be able to put my upcoming experience into perspective, but I'm just not there yet. She's still the wealth of knowledge for the students, myself included. I can't imagine yet being that wealth of knowledge for students. I don't feel as though I have the right to the information I'm receiving, such as IEPs, counselor emails, etc; it still feels like she is sneaking me secret information. I imagine this might change once I actually get in front of the class, but for right now, I'm still trying to wrap my head around it.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
My legacy
In my Practicum class, I was discussing my unit plan ideas with my professor. She told me what she wanted me to do, and I told her I didn't think I could; I didn't have the know how. She pushed me, and I pushed back. I left that conversation the most frustrated I had ever been with a professor and wrote a good, quality unit plan, based on her expectations, not mine.
One of my favorite poems my Emily Dickinson starts, "We never know how high we are/'til we are asked to rise." While many high school students may be exceptions, many others just do enough. They do what they have to to make the grade, and it's good work. They might even get As and Bs for it, but they are not doing their best.
I want to frustrate students. I want to push them places they think they can't go, and watch as they realize they can, and that maybe they can go even farther. I want my students to remember me as the teacher who took the time to know them well enough to challenge them just the way they needed to be challenged. I want them to say, "Ms. Oblander made me so angry, but looking back, I'm glad."
One of my favorite poems my Emily Dickinson starts, "We never know how high we are/'til we are asked to rise." While many high school students may be exceptions, many others just do enough. They do what they have to to make the grade, and it's good work. They might even get As and Bs for it, but they are not doing their best.
I want to frustrate students. I want to push them places they think they can't go, and watch as they realize they can, and that maybe they can go even farther. I want my students to remember me as the teacher who took the time to know them well enough to challenge them just the way they needed to be challenged. I want them to say, "Ms. Oblander made me so angry, but looking back, I'm glad."
My Inspiration
While on the return flight from Costa Rica, I sat next to a man who looked as though he was a native Spanish speaker. We didn't interact much. I read my book, and he spent most of his time looking out the window. The pilot announced 30 minutes until arrival in Chicago, Illinois, and the flight attendants began to pass out US customs forms. I started on my own when my neighbor leaned in and asked me a question in broken English. I responded in Spanish, and he looked at me, surprised. Hablas espanol? he asked. "Si," I replied, "acabo de pasar tres meses en Costa Rica." And for the rest of the flight, he embellished on his travels to South America and all the beautiful women he met there.
I've always loved Spanish. I started Education courses in my first year at Coe, and they've highly interested me, too, but it wasn't until that moment that I realized exactly why it was important to me to teach a foreign language. Had I not learned Spanish, I would have never known that man. We would have sat quietly in our seats, making assumptions about one another but never being able to really know. And I looked back at the past semester I spent in Costa Rica, the host family that became my own, and a foreign country that became familiar--I never would have known those people or their country had I not taken the time to learn another language.
The world is full of different cultures, ethnicities, and people, who have different ideas, beliefs, and values, and language is one of the most important ways to communicate them. To limit ourselves to only the experiences of those who speak our language is to deprive ourselves of cultural perspectives that can otherwise be lost in translation. Language and culture are interrelated, and each is important to the other for true understanding. I want to teach a foreign language so I can also teach foreign cultures and continue to expand my horizons along with those of my students.
I've always loved Spanish. I started Education courses in my first year at Coe, and they've highly interested me, too, but it wasn't until that moment that I realized exactly why it was important to me to teach a foreign language. Had I not learned Spanish, I would have never known that man. We would have sat quietly in our seats, making assumptions about one another but never being able to really know. And I looked back at the past semester I spent in Costa Rica, the host family that became my own, and a foreign country that became familiar--I never would have known those people or their country had I not taken the time to learn another language.
The world is full of different cultures, ethnicities, and people, who have different ideas, beliefs, and values, and language is one of the most important ways to communicate them. To limit ourselves to only the experiences of those who speak our language is to deprive ourselves of cultural perspectives that can otherwise be lost in translation. Language and culture are interrelated, and each is important to the other for true understanding. I want to teach a foreign language so I can also teach foreign cultures and continue to expand my horizons along with those of my students.
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